the GOD series: psalm 77 and psalm 67:God as first principle and last hope.

i was thinking, on my way to work this morning, about the question of God. it is the question. if He exists, that it is the most important question to face. if he does not then it is the most mundane question there is. the question of the question is the first thing to answer in discovering what being human means, in finding our real purpose or lack of it.
from the title you already know where i stand. God first appeared to me in whispers of right and wrong, then in the song and dance and festivity in my liberal, "unreligious" church, then as something more, then as someone more, as a real experience and a reason to approach life as a joy and not as a chore.
we had many conversations on buses as i made my seventeen year old way to and fro gwagwalada in my first year of university. and in school i sought him in religious orders and fellowship meetings, seeing him as honey dripping from the mouth of the blessed few. but he was not enough there. i sought him in the songs sang and the book read and liberated from the tyranny of clergymen and scholars . but he was too small in fine print. i sought him in friendships with the godly and in meetings away from the godless. but He is not found in effort or by sweat of brow. and i had been found long before i ever looked. the illusion is that you can find GOD. God always finds you. what you find by yourself is a god you can explain and love as object and be proud that you love your brilliant deserved object. God lives you no room to be proud. He is not into flattering you. He is into revealing who you honestly are so He can lead you to who you truly are. there is too much voodoo in the church today. too much waiting for a magic wand to sweep away responsibility and give a false sense of certainty. the only certainty is God. He is the most natural being in the universe. miracles are needed less and less as we draw toward the real experience of knowing him as Him. this is what i find in the daily freedom of becoming His son. it is more liberating than the false sense of being free we get by "making our own decisions". true freedom is in making the right decisions, in aligning with the divine will.
i might sound certain about all this but i am not. i am wrong in places and barely right in others. do not seek solace in my seeming certainty. find your own damn bus. take a trip to an unfamiliar place and get familiar with yahweh, all ready to explain who HE is to you. you.
p.s. the psalms are a result of my recent struggles ( and i mean more than the thing with adanma when i say this). they show states that are familiar to the common trend amongst those seeking God as first principle and last hope. en-joy reading them