the fine art of being wrong.

i am wrong more than i am right. this is the best lesson growing out of my own skin has taught me. my wrongdoing outweighs my hypocritical acts of purity. my decision-making process is flawed, my dreams are too light to settle on the earth, i am my own God and reference-point and the only thing that keeps me going is my delusion that one day i will "slip the surly bounds of earth and touch the face of God".
and i am learning i will be more wrong in the future. i will miss it 99 times to the 1 time i will hit the centre of that darn dartboard. i will be in more useless scrapes, i will fall down, get more weary from trying, i will battle depression again, i will leave many battles with a bloody nose and a silent ear. i will not meet up to many a standard, i will spend money on rubbish i do not need, spend time with people i do not like, pretend to be a soccer nut, pretend to be interested in things i do not care about, try to fit in, fail to fit in, be cast out, find a lonely spot, get over it in obscene ways, make a mess and ask a God to fix it because He loves me. i will be wrong, again. about people and places, statements and states, processes and purposes. i will be wrong before today ends.
but in constantly being wrong i will rise. i will learn that humility is the first, last and middlestep to the door of eternity. i will learn to rely on the universe greater than i, the creator greater than the universe and the nexus that connects me with the creator and His ultimate purpose.
in being wrong i will grow. my jaw will grow hard from the punches, my back will grow stronger from the weight. my sight will get better from seeing in the dark, my aim will get more flexible from failing to hit the target and my mind will open up to new ideas from the failure of my own. i will learn.
i will learn that the crowd, the mob is always spewing nonsense. they always want to hang truth from the tree and let the rebel out with his murdering hands. i will learn to be forri and no one else. i will learn i walk alone on the path before me and though people are assigned by providence to help me along they cannot take my place or walk for me. at best they walk beside me on a narrow path of their own. i will learn to let go, to forgive the weaknesses of others because i have mine. to carry both on this road would weigh me down.
and i will rise. i will rise to know right from wrong and truth from fiction. i will rise to find that at the height the eagle soars every problem is small and my hanging on to things is because they seemed big when i walked the portion of my path where i was supposed to soar on the wings of that perfect bird. i will rise from wrong to learning right.
i am in no hurry to be perfect. i do not apologise for my imperfection. i live for an audience of one, for one set of hands to come together in final applause for the fulfilment of my worthy life. that being, thriving in the great hall of faith, does not mind my being wrong. from His height it is all turning right at the cross.
He knows i am merely perfecting the fine art of being wrong.

why you must move on...by john mayer

People have the right to fly
And will when it gets compromised
Their hearts say "Move along"
Their minds say "Gotcha heart"
Let's move it along

And airports, see it all the time
Where someone's last goodbye
Blends in with someone's sigh
Cause someone's coming home
In hand, a single rose

That's the way this wheel keeps working now
That's the way this wheel keeps working now
And I won't be the last
No I won't be the last, to love her

You can't build a house of leaves
And live like it's an evergreen
It's just a season thing
It's just this thing that seasons do

And that's the way this wheel keeps working now
That's the way this wheel keeps working now
And you won't be the first
No you won't be the first, to love me

You can find me, if you ever want to give
I'll be around the bend
I'll be around the bend
I'll be around, I'll be around
And if you never stop when you wave goodbye
You just might find
if you give it time
You will wave hello again
You just might wave hello again

And that's the way this wheel keeps working now
That's the way this wheel keeps working now

You can't love too much, one part of it(repeat)
I believe that my life's gonna see
The love I give
return to me
I believe that my life's gonna see
yeah
The love I give return to me.
I believe that my life's gonna see
the love I giveReturn to me...

(words and music by john mayer)